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Tackling the ego: the ego is not you

· ego,Coaching,Mindset

It's so important, I want to say it again. You are not your ego. Your ego is a construct, the connection between the conscious and unconscious. We created it. It is a wonderful tool when you are in danger, but it is not that beautiful version of you. It's role is to keep you safe. Safe = comfortable = doing what you've always done.

Part of the ego is the inner critic, whose words are loud and noisy, so loud that you aren't able to hear the whispers of the true you. The you, that isn't afraid to be seen, to grow, to change.

How do you know when you are in the ego? When we feel tension or strong emotion and are displaying one of these behaviours, then we are acting from the ego (see these simple examples. We are often displaying multiple versions of these).

  • Blame - 'the dog ate my homework.'
  • Denial - 'I didn't do it'
  • Judgement - 
  • Deflection - Changing the conversation.
  • Distortion - seeing something different than the truth. 
  • Comparison - 'But Jane isn't as good as me, why should she...'
  • Defence - 'There is no way I would do that.'
Can you continue to act from the ego? Of course. But the greater question, is don't you want to be the true version of you? To be accountable for your emotions, your reactions, to what triggers you? To be able to hear the whispers of the higher self and come from that place?
So, how do you tackle your ego? Start to hear what the inner critic is saying. What happens when you are in a situation where you get some feedback that you don't like? What are you saying to yourself? Is there the strong emotion of they're all a bunch of idiots (and they may well be :)), but being in the ego doesn't help you to grow or change. It keeps you in the same place you were before. So shine a light on what your behaviour is. What it is saying to you. And get out of your head, by doing something to get back into your body.
Try my 30 sec dance party.
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