It took me a while to get to a place where I wanted to meditate, that I didn't just do it because I should.
I learnt to meditate at 12, when a nun at school shut the blinds, turned off the light, told us all to lie on the floor and took us on a guided meditation. It is a meditation that I still use today, one which helps with migraines and relaxing my body. Many years later I went on a 10 day Vipassana retreat where I mediated all day, didn't speak or look at anyone. It was a journey inwards. I lasted 3 days before I left crying and not understanding why. I kept coming back to mediation in different forms.
My journey to meditating everyday came when a friend and I decided our new years resolution would be 40 days of meditation. Just 10 minutes a day. At first it was hard. That struggle in my mind, but what if I go out at night? Have a few drinks? Surely I can't meditate then? Some days I only did 2 minutes of meditation, but I did it! I then decided to do another 40 days. I was starting to see the value in meditating every day. How it made me feel less anxious. I reacted less to situations before that fuelled my anger, my frustration.
Life got in the way. Actually let's be honest. I got in my own way. I meditated, but it was a couple of times a week. It helped me feel more in control of my emotions, but it wasn't the same as the everyday meditation. But I wasn't ready yet. Instead it took another 6 months and I decided I wanted to feel bliss. Feel connected to something greater than myself. It took a month of meditating everyday before I started to feel that bliss and now if I don't meditate I feel off centre.
I meditate 10 - 15 minutes everyday. On super busy days I may only meditate for 2 minutes, but it is an important 2 minutes. Probably the most important part of my day. That first 10 secs when I close my eyes and step into that place. It feels like my body and mind are saying a big thank you.
Like a lot of people I have suffered anxiety and depression and still have moments of anxiety. Meditation is my drug. If I sound like a new age junkie, then so be it, but it works for me. It doesn't mean I don't suffer from down days or anxiety ridden moments. But I am now able to work through those emotions with a short meditation, which means I don't react from those emotions. For you it might be yoga, running, mindfulness. But I urge you to try meditation.
An example of how meditation works for me. This morning I got up, did some work and dragged myself around. I've been feeling a little anxious as I wake up in the morning. This morning I was also a little tired and should have meditated first thing, but we don't always do what is good for us. Instead I got stuck into work because I had a fair amount to do. I went to the store to grab some groceries and was waiting in line. I could feel myself getting annoyed at having to wait, when usually I am patient. But it is meditation that keeps me calm and centred when I am feeling anxious. By not doing it til later the frustration was just there beneath my skin, bubbling. I noticed what was happening and went home and meditated. I am back at peace with myself. Meditation doesn't remove anxiety or depression, but what it does is help you see clearly, so you can see through the fog.
If you've not really mediated before, start with guided meditations. This will allow you to have something to focus on. Pop over to my meditation section and try one of my guided meditations.
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